So Shelley had an ambivalent relationship toward motherhood, as did 'Amanda,' 'Rachel,' 'Rebecca' and several other individual women. Context would render the chapters discussing Mary Shelley and Bram Stoker irrelevant they would also make the Rosemary's Baby discussion even harder on the ears than it already is. But the much-needed context would undermine the other infuriating characteristic of the book: the use of individual case studies and literary examples. One, rather than take a critical look at cultural pressures regarding motherhood, she instead takes a navel-gazing approach by pseudo-analyzing various women's experiences, with far too little context involved.

But Almond decides to approach maternal ambivalence in two of the most infuriating ways imaginable. It's not hard to see that motherhood is glorified, which is why I was drawn to the subject. The apparent raison d'etre of this book is that mothers are not constantly gung-ho and unquestioningly loving of their children, but in our society, to admit to this ambivalence is tantamount to treason. I'd have liked to see a fairer treatment of a variety of parenting philosophies, or at least more balanced research on her part.Īnyway, there is definitely plenty of food for thought here, though much of it is hard to swallow! 'what's wrong with giving a bottle now and then'. She basically says, 'when I was a child babies slept in their cribs and they turned out fine!' and She blames Attachment Parenting (specifically co-sleeping, exclusive breastfeeding, and not using babysitters) for exacerbating the anger and hostility mothers may feel.

Like all of us, this author has her biases. Most of us manage to get through those challenging moments, but any mom who hasn't felt at least for a moment like selling her kids on eBay or chucking them off the balcony, is either more saintly than I or she's in major denial. I remember when the Andrea Yates case happened I was in the throes of dealing with a toddler who wouldn't sleep and, while I was shocked like the rest of the world, I also thought 'There but for the grace of whomever go I.' In admitting and facing these ambivalent feelings, we can heal ourselves and improve our family relationships.įair enough, say I. At the very least, mothers do feel different levels of ambivalence toward our children and the role of mother, which society expects to be constant, saintly, unconditional love all the time. Almond draws on her years as a clinical psychologist and brings in several examples from literature, film, and current news stories. Frankenstein.Īccording to the author, many if not most of us could benefit from accepting that sometimes we fear, resent, even downright hate our children.

Few mothers are willing to admit, even to themselves, that they have anything in common with Andrea Yates, Susan Smith or Dr.

Barbara almond the monster within